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"Look," he started. "I don't understand all of this ... exactly. I mean I feel things and..." He looked at her helplessly. Then he kneeled so his eyes were level with hers. "I wasn't just saying it when I told you I love you. I never felt like this about ANYBODY, much less a girl. When I think of you not being there I actually hurt inside."He looked at her hopefully. To his dismay she only said "Go on."Now he got up and paced again. "I don't know WHAT to do. When we're together I get all ... swelled up inside or something."She smiled. "The last time I saw you swelled up it was on the OUTSIDE." She giggled.He threw his hands up in the air. "See? That's what I mean. I'm afraid that if I do what I want to do, or say what I want to say, I'll cross some line and you'll get mad at me and push me away and I don't want to screw this up because this means a LOT to me." He wasn't crying, but it was hard not to, because of the frustration and emotion inside.Amy stood up. The fact that her head. I mean here you are trying to get along with a cranky wife with kids screaming in your ears all the time. Why it's enough to make one commit suicide, and who needs that? Now look at me ... I mean not now since that awful thing happened to me but before. I don't even know who my parents are, and it hasn't hurt me any.I did have a girl once, and let me tell you it was great but I had to get out of there before it was too late. It was enough for me to experience it at least once. I only hope I don't have any little ones running around somewhere because of it. As I said, I admit that it was good but I promised myself not to get tied down, and as long as I'm happy I refuse to let that happen.Now this morning when I got up and stretched my legs, the dew was still on the ground, and that's another thing about living my life the way I do. I can get up whenever I want to, and I can stay up as late as I like without giving anything else a thought. Anyway, when I got up the sun was already.
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