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All the same, it was hard for me to gauge what he was thinking.Chad was silent for most of the drive. It wasn’t till we were pretty much at the terminal, and I was following the signs toward departures, that he finally spoke up. “Listen,” he said, “I’m sorry I freaked out on you again.”“Well,” I said, “you don’t need to apologize.”“I dunno...” He sighed. “I hope I don’t need to be gone for too long.”“Don’t worry about school,” I said. “I mean... you’ve obviously got more important things to take care of...”“I guess what I’m trying to tell you is... I don’t know when I’m going to see you again.”I pulled up to the curb, put the car in park, and looked right into his eyes. “Don’t say it like that.”“It’s true though,” he said. “You know it.”“You’re making it sound so... I dunno...”“My dad could be in the hospital for months. A-and if he ends up needing a caretaker or something—”“Just do what you need to do,” I said. “However long you need, I’ll be here... and I’ll be waiting. My mom used to tell me they would help me with the ladies, but I had long since ceased to believe her. When I was 17, I had lost my virginity to a girlfriend (who will be named C for privacy reasons) whom I didn’t love. I know many people have terrible experiences with their first time having sex and while mine wasn’t the best, I didn’t regret doing it, I just didn’t feel anything after it was over. I didn’t feel any different than normal after we were done, I didn’t even look at her any differently than I had before. A few months later, after a few more times of having sex and a boring relationship, we broke up with each other, going our different ways. This did not bother me, I had been single before and knew what to expect, but what I did not expect was how I would feel a couple months later after scrolling down my Facebook and noticing she was dating someone else. It wasn’t so much that I was jealous, but it did bother me that she had moved on so quickly while I hadn’t even.
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