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But that's for another story."Hey! What are you doing here?" My wife asked as Paul laid a couple of smackers on both her cheeks."I'm having a pint with my mate Ross here. This is his local."Ross was the geezer at the bar and before we came in he had been enjoying a pint with our mutual friend. Paul had gone to the Gents' toilet just prior to our entrance.I watched as Sam was introduced to Ross, who couldn't wait to slap a couple of kisses on my wife's cheeks. "So who you with?"Uh oh! Here we go."Judy!" Sam looked over in my direction.I smiled my best Princess Diana coy smile and gave a little wave over the table. Paul's grin showed more teeth than a Ferrari gearbox as he let go of the grip around my wife's waist."Judy! How the hell are you?" He fired a wink outwith Ross's view and approached my table. He bent down and plonked two kisses on either of my cheeks. "You smell divine, darling." He whispered in my ear."Fuck off," I whispered back in his ear. His sudden laugh was. "It was nothing ma'am," I offered, giving her my best John Wayneimpersonation. She laughed at that and figured that all was well. Icouldn't believe the pain I was feeling across the bridge of my nose. Ibegan wondering whether it was broken. Darla insisted that I accompanyher inside and ushered me into the guest bathroom. I wasn't sure if I wasready to view the damage that Sam had wreaked on my face. "You're going to have quite a shiner there tomorrow John," Darla informedme. I looked in the mirror. My face looked as though it had taken a fewpasses through a meat grinder. "Holy Cow!" I exclaimed as I examined myself more closely. I vowed thenand there that I'd never offer up myself as a human punching bag again. Darla told me to wait right there and ran off. She returned moments laterwith a few small bottles. "What's that?" I asked her. "This is what you're going to need to wear to school tomorrow," sheinformed me. I considered her suggestion. Would I look worse with a blackeye or.
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