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He knew that if it was teased right, it could take over. I found I could enjoy many aspects of the situation.The draw of the 'secret' power I had over Suze was strong. I could stop things if I wanted. My voyeurism was being sated via John's videos. That night I got to actually see Suze in action at the bookstore and strip club was a bonus beyond the videos. Our sex life had improved, as well. We were having sex more often and with greater variety. Our activities had not seemed to have a serious negative social affect, our lives and interactions with friends and coworkers was unchanged. Aside from the flimsy artificial reality about Suze's time with John, we had actually been closer and spent more time together since all this started as well.That left the down side of things to consider. My web surfing and porn reading promoted secretness and deception between my wife and I. That is not good. My wife having sex outside the bonds of marriage is something that would be frowned on by a. If you only knew the guilt, the terrible guilt... Vicki, I was drunk and I was... oh, Christ, I don't know what what I was! I'm not trying to make excuses, I just lost my head. I didn't want it to happen, I didn't, Vicki. You have to believe that!" I don't have to believe anything," she told him, and the anger was rising higher in her now, reaching a fever pitch as it compounded with her own guilt and shame. "All I know is, you were doing something... unspeakable with another woman, with that slut Christy Kaye..." She's not a slut," Kirk said defensively, and instantly he regretted his words."No? Then what is she?" A woman, that's all. A hot-blooded woman, she loves and enjoys sex. There's nothing wrong with that, Vicki." She's a whore! A filthy whore!" No, damn it, she's not..." Why are you defending her, Kirk? Why? I'm your wife, not her. I'm the woman you supposedly love, not that... that harlot."Kirk felt anger kindle inside him, too. He hadn't expected Vicki to understand, not.
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