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Iknew what Bill was like, and how he treated girls, but I had, in myexcitement at being a girl, let my common sense fly right out thewindow. By the time I was home I had an inkling of what so many womenhad talked about when they mentioned men that only wanted to controlthem. I went to bed, confident that Bill would no longer be a problemsince I would be back in school the next day. I told mom what hadhappened, and while she was very concerned for me, I told her I couldhandle it, then, after church, I packed and drove back to school.Each day I would attend class, go home and study, then hit the sack,except for the two days a week that I went to the group. Then I took ashower before bed. All of us taking those weight loss classes began toknit as a group, and I was able to listen as some of the other girlsbemoaned how they looked, often carrying excess weight from childhood.All I could add to the conversation was that I wanted to "generallyfill out", which drew hoots and howls from the. They want us to be shameless whores behind closed doors, and we love being those whores. The best sex is doing what no one thinks you would do."I wasn't going to be behind closed doors, but if he found a hiding place out here I was willing to get naughty if I thought it would excite me, being a whore.When he came back I tried to glance at the front of his trunks and see if the light blue fabric revealed any other mysteries for me but I was afraid of being caught. He handed me my cone and I saw he had one just a bit bigger. We looked into each other's eyes and licked our cones making small talk. Suddenly it hit me, one of the Cosmopolitan magazines we flipped through said you did it like licking an ice cream cone and I remember we all laughed. Now that thought had me horrified as he watched me. I tried to be unsexy as I finished the cone, but I didn't know what sexy was as far as oral sex was. At the time he couldn't have had those thoughts about me, he barely knew me. I knew I was.
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