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.1 You say “the city” and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan.2. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can’t find Wisconsin on a map.3. You think Central Park is “nature.”4. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multilingual.5. You’ve worn out a car horn. (IF you have a car.)6. You think eye contact is an act of aggression-OR-You can retire to Michigan where...1. You only have three spices: salt, pepper and ketchup.2. Halloween costumes have to fit over parkas.3. You have seventeen recipes for casserole.4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.5. The four seasons are: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road repair.-OR-You can retire to The Deep South where...1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.2 “Y’all” is singular and “all y’all” is plural.3. “He needed killin” is a valid defense.4. Everyone has two first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy. The four mgrs instantly engage in the most traditional thing in football---pouring all that gatoraide over the ¼ backs head, lol. I was soaked. The fans rush the field—elevating Carlise high above. Tv crews and radio announcers come out of the woodwork—all heading towards me. I deflect them off---pointing towards Carlise. They seemed to understand, and rushed towards him. I head straight for the lockeroom. I couldn't contain myself. As some of the team began coming in behind me, they all start in on me—asking me what's wrong. Finally containing myself, I explain that nothing was wrong. Today was the greatest day of my life---and it was thanx to you guys. Teamwork, won this game. As we began to strip down, and gather into the showers, I suds up pretty heavy—more than usual. I was filthy, even for me. There's lots of yelling and whoops and hollering, but then it suddenly got quite. I turned around and looking towards the entrance doors to the locker room, there stood Parker. The room.
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