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Hard! I stepped back and I kicked as hard as I could using that pink thing as my target. Maybe the kick was overkill because the stomp alone caused him to squeal like a stuck pig. Which seemed appropriate as I had well and truly stuck that pig's trotter.I stepped round him as he puked up his beer, smoothed my dress and marched to the taxi rank, heels striking to the rhythm, "Stomp his Foot, Kick his Balls!" Next time we met he was wearing a plaster cast on his left ankle. Well, we didn't quite meet: as soon as he saw me he hobbled away rapidly in the opposite direction. Since then I've never been bothered about men so if Mr Right ever does appear, then he shall have my virginity.I've been a librarian all my life and now I drive the fifteen miles to the Central Library in town each day. I suppose I'm lucky still to be working after the savage cuts in the library service. Back home, my evenings are spent mainly maintaining my internet contacts and surfing the net. I had to learn. I got a shock when I was told it was a Mr Robertson. I was not expecting to find you here, young man. Have your women worn you out?”“No, ma’am. I got stabbed in the back, at Scarborough, protecting some ladies who were NOT my wives.”“What? YOU were the character who one-handedly killed an assailant after being stabbed? I didn’t expect that a Yorkshire story would impinge on our own hallowed halls, and I never thought it might be you.”“Yes, ma’am, I cannot tell a lie; it was I.”“Now, Reginald, that is a bad quote: you should know that there is no evidence that George Washington really said that, or even that he chopped down a tree like the story goes. It was all hearsay evidence, long, long afterwards.”“Yes, ma’am; unlike the Bible, of course!” he quipped.“You are quite sharp this morning, Reginald. Does that mean you are feeling much better? I am surprised. Killing another human being, no matter the circumstances, is never good for the soul, or the psyche, as the psychiatrists would.
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