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I wasn’t sure how to answer this as I was totally inexperienced and I wasn’t sure what he had in mind – and he wouldn’t tell me, he said it was a “surprise”. I agreed with some hesitation, and we arranged to meet up at my place the next evening. When he arrived he said that he had something kinky in mind and that we both needed to have full bladders, so we both drank 4 375 ml beers before heading into the bedroom, where he opened a bag containing a carrot, small cucumber and large zucchini, some lube and a length of thin (3 mm) plastic tubing with a clamp on one end. It was obvious what the vegetables were for but I was puzzled by the plastic tubing. He got me lying on my back with my legs back over my shoulders and after putting some lube on my arse slowly inserted the carrot. Being tapered it went in fairly easy and didn’t hurt too much. Next came the cucumber, I struggled to take that but eventually managed to take it all. Next came the zucchini, it was really thick and I just. It was a picture of nice naked breast with a small tattoo of a horse just above the nipple."You'll be surprised where the ladies want their tattoos these days," he said with a laugh."Nice work if you can get it," I said joining in with his laughter."Oh, I did this one the other day," he said pointing at another square of cardboard.It didn't look much, just a small blue butterfly."It's where I did it," he explained when he saw my face. "Right up here."He pointed to the top of his own inner thigh."She wanted as high as I could get it," he explained. "Tasty she was, too."I noticed his face went a little vague as he was obviously remembering that day."Fancy a cup of tea?" he asked unexpectantly, "I put the kettle on earlier." Sure," I replied while still studying his wall of photographs."God, she was a cracker," he mused. "Came in a few weeks ago and wanted this butterfly right up in her groin. Well, I can tell you I was all for it. Fucking great legs she had. Anyway, she took her jeans.
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