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I hadn't cried since I was a damn k**! Stephie tried to help, but her efforts only made things worse. The first week she left me to my shame. The second week she tried to cheer me up, but she just couldn't understand what I was going through. She'd say: "That's ok honey, I'll earn enough for both of us." "Just relax dear, I'll support us." and so on. She just couldn't understand that I wasn't worried about money, I had plenty of money in the bank. I needed my job to prove that I was the man. Her words cut into me like a rusty dagger. For weeks she fired off these encouragements at me in rapid succession. The humiliation stung so much that my self-respect began to die. I became quiet and passive. All my sulking and passivity slowly led me to a state where I began to do what Stephie said without question. I no longer believed I had the right to speak my mind or to demand anything of my own. This was a total turn around from the way our marriage had been. In the past I was clearly in. As I predicted, Jacob was furiouswhen he saw me instead of the bride he intended to have the next morning.He wanted to repudiate the marriage.I cried and told him, "If you accept our nuptial then you may marryRachel in a week." Why should I believe you?" He had anger in his eyes."Because Rachel and Laban put me up to it," I choked out. "I knew it waswrong, but, she told me she would refuse to marry you if you voided thismarriage." Why?" Because I love you too," I hiccupped. Tenderly, he pulled me into him,held me, and kissed me and told me, everything will work out. I knew hecared. It was enough then.Later that day, Jacob went to Laban and made a new contract. When it wasfinished, Jacob punched his father-in-law in the face then came back tome. We made love. A week later, Rachel was his bride. Because of thatweek, I had a son, Ruben, and then, another, and another, six in all.But Rachel was barren. She was bitter. I had his children.Yes, I was jealous too, because she had.
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