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Something in his file however had greatly disturbed my father but he was not quite ready then to tell me why or offer any other confessions. His mind more frequently now dwelt upon his younger war years and he told me a great number of stories about his terrible combat experiences on Peleliu and on Okinawa as a US Marine mortar man and gave me a book to read by another Marine mortar man who served in a different company but had very similar and terrible war experiences. The book, "With the Old Breed on Peleliu and Okinawa" was horrifying and told me a great deal about what my father had suffered and the trouble he later displayed in expressing his feelings or emotions.We began to talk more and much more often together. I had always loved my father but we started to become much closer, as a father and daughter ought to be. This was when his final guard started to come and in slow bits and pieces over several weeks, I finally learned the great and terrible secret of his life."I didn't. He said he had been told he was nominated to go to Berlin for a month`s course, however he wanted to talk to me before he agreed to go. We discussed the options and agreed to him going and he brightened up a little, looking round he spied the new nail and the chime that Eddy had fortunately provided. “I love the new wind chime but you shouldn’t have stood on a chair to put that nail in” he said, I thought if only you knew! During what passed as sex with Jack later that evening, he surprised me by saying he would love to try some of the more outrageous fetishes to see if it would help, suggesting that he would have more time and energy if he got the promotion the course led up to. I asked what he had in mind but his answer was he didn’t know but it would be fun finding out, perhaps we could go for a threesome, or we could try bondage or something. My mind reeled sort of ‘not bloody likely that would be a dead give-away!’, So I said “let`s wait and see when you come home my love.”.
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