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.not a worry in the world. But now here I am, standing in front of a mirror wearing a wedding dress trying to figure a way out of this. Nope, that wasn't a typo. I said wedding dress. Hmm, my body is better suited for mermaid style over ballroom. Ugh, see that's the stupid shit that I’ve been saying for the past six months, living in this distorted fucking reality. Let me start from the beginning, and maybe you could help me figure a way out of this shit. Six months ago my buddy Rock and I were slouched on our beat-up couch playing video games and smoking some weed. You know, a typical Saturday for two best buddies out on their living the good life. I’ve known Rock since I saw him getting his butt kicked on my way home from school in second grade. I tried to help, which promptly led to me getting my butt kicked and we’ve been joined at the hip ever since. His real name is Robert, but people call him rock because he’s not the sharpest tool. He’s short, chubby, not great with the ladies. She had two kids, one a freaking 14-year-old, the boy 12, probably hot for mum and his sister, both. Her brother, Tim, had tried getting into Olga’s pants when he was 12. (With no more luck than any boy in the US.) He spied on their mum, had found her stash of photos and videos on a hard-drive, had probably spent years beating off, watching her mother fuck. No kids--no, no, never!“Why do I want you so fucking much?” she murmured.I’ll tell you why, a birdie chirped in her head. She’s normal. Has a husband and kids, a dog and a cat, a house in the countryside with a big mortgage. A lawn to be mowed, and tests to grade in the evenings. What you have is a milieu of hi-octane catwalk models that subsist on cocaine, coffee, cock, and cunt--every one as neurotic as you. You have a lesbian girlfriend and a transsexual husband. Shortly, the only cock in your life, the one you can’t live without, the only penis to ever say hello to your wasted cervix, will say hello to the knife, and goodbye.
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