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But not so simple, eh? In one selfish way (see, still got that trait) I suppose that pleases me (my ego, anyway). But, in reality and truthfully, I’m distressed at the damage to your life and happiness that I caused 32 years ago. Believe me, Petal, if I could turn back the clock and start again, I would. Whether we would have been together for life, no one knows – but at least we would have found out and not lived our lives always wondering ‘what if?’ Hope that makes sense. One other thing I must say is this: I am grateful and amazed that you can still think kindly about me, despite everything I did to you. I know I can never make up for it all but I do want you to know that I’ve never stopped loving you. No consolation, I know, but at least I’ve told you. Oh dear, I’ve just read through what I’ve written so far and it’s really a down-in-the-mouth message isn’t it? It even rivals those suicidal Country songs about lost loves and dead dogs that you loved so much! Take it you’re still. The vodka didnt taste how I expected, and I winced slightly at the strength of the drink. It reminded me of some kind of beauty product Id tasted when I was little, and I noted that it wasnt the most pleasant drink. Nevertheless, I narrowed my eyes. Hand me another, then. If were doing this, were doing it good. About 60 minutes and five shots later, I was dancing with strangers, my entire body swaying along with the music. There was a blur of people around me, all talking to each other. Some comments were directed at me and I slurred replies back, not as apprehensive to be partying as I previously was. I felt my shoulder being grabbed and I gasped, pivoting around to see who it was. Sandra had a few fingers on my shoulder. I half smiled, the expression quickly melting into one of deep thought. You know… I contemplated. Youre really damn pretty. My hand ran up to her face, which dropped under my touch and warmed up with the blood rushing to her cheeks. Her blood was the colour of her.
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