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Hold on, she wants me to shift so she can…Oh, oh, okay, OMG. Where was I, I, I… my hand was, um… we were in the back corner of the grocery store and I had a hand full of hair. I pulled her and maneuvered her body until she was face down into some seedless grapes. Her bent forward pose positioned her ass for proper discipline."Yoga pants!” The battle-cry flew from my lips and I maneuvered to let my right hand fly along.One, two, ten, maybe fifty rapid-fire barehanded swats landed on target! She tried in vain to stop me with her pleading.“No baby, I’m sorry! I know the Yoga Pant Rules! I do! Ow-ow-ow! I promise not to do it again! Ouch! It hurts baby ouch-ouch-ouch! I can’t help it! I need men to love on my ass! Ouch! And my hot pussy slot too! Ow-ow-ow!”I heard one of the voyeurs counting under his breath, “39, 40… 45…” but I lost track due to the noise I was making. The guy who’d been counting handed me a wide flat box. There was a frozen pizza inside.Lolly hadn’t moved an inch so I. Truth is a painful subject to the down-and-out, a reminder of all the wrong turns some people make along the way to where they are. I guess it can be kind of rough to turn around and everywhere you look you’re reminded how far you’ve fallen. Like that pain in your gut where hunger used to live isn’t enough? A medical examiner’s rain-streaked van, dull blue with official looking white letters on it, pulled up behind my old Ford right as I got out of the car, Mary-Jo something-or-other was behind the wheel writing on a clipboard but she looked up and waved at me as I walked by. I nodded and wished I’d worn a hat, no one ever told me when I was growing up that cold rain on a head with three hairs left on top could be such all-consuming fun. Anyway. Mary-Jo something-or-other and her assistant got out of their van (both wearing rain coats and hats, by the way) and followed me into the building, we made it to an elevator just before the door closed and squeezed in. ‘Messy night,’ her.
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