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My arms slip and I fall again, causingmore flames to go everywhere. I examine the stage and see nothing. Butwhen I touch it, I can feel it, a slickness, like melting ice.And then it's gone. Like it was never there. The stage is back to normal.What the fuck? What just happened?I push myself to my feet. I can stand again, but my nose hurts from whereI banged it on the stage.I hear a roaring, a roar of laughter. This is what it sounds like when100,000 people laugh at you.I want to cry, but I don't. Kat is gone. There is no more confidence. Shetook it with her. Now I'm just boring Kip with his emotions kept in alocker somewhere deep inside him.I walk to my mark at stage left. I look out and see laughing people,pointing people, jeering people. I don't let my face show an ounce ofemotion. I am blank. I am immovable. I am stone.Deep inside, a fire rages. Someone sabotaged me. When I find out who,there will be trouble.I take my spot next to the other girls. They all have mocking smiles.The. I tried to put that in words, finally sort of lamely concluding, "And I think that may not be that far from the truth – I mean, by the end of the evening, we'd both had a fair amount to drink, someone – I – had to take Hal back to his hotel – while Debbie ended up helping Naz get Seffi back to their place – and, you know, it just wouldn't have been special, if you see what I mean..." Well," she said, in a serious but amused tone of voice, "I've known you to be a little more articulate, but ... yes, I can see how that could have happened. What I can't see is how the two of you – both sensitive, intelligent human beings – couldn't have sorted things out the next evening. Or sometime in the past couple of months, at least, for god's sake..." Yeah, well," I conceded, moodily. "Maybe that's another point – I mean, our relationship has always had a sort of undercover quality – I think the world of the woman, I really do, but all the time I was getting to know her she was, of course, looking.
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