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I had to be very careful: I understood that my feelings were in chaos and my control was ragged at best. Sure, over the past five plus years I had learned control and patience, but those were for things I could control; things that were predictable and for which the rewards and consequences were clear. They never included wives, or ex-wives or children or any of those things that were part of a civilized life. Prison was far from civilized. It was dog-eat-dog where the strong survived and the weak succumbed and the result was a culture that worked. Those with a skill or a talent or some degree of knowledge that could be bartered into something better were the winners. The weak or the ignorant looked to those others for their survival, often at the cost of something more precious; their dignity.I was one of the more fortunate and I had learned to take advantage when it was to my benefit. Compassion was not a survival emotion in prison and my compassion had been suppressed for a long. She went into a lot of detail about how to french kiss, demonstrating over and over, until I did it right.We heard mom pull in the driveway, so Susan took my hand off her covered breast as we got out, dried off and met her inside.“What have you two been doing today?” she asked.“We drove around for a while then decided it was too hot to do anything except get in the pool,” Susan said.“Mom,” I asked, “Can Susan take me to the movies tomorrow. There’s a new movie in town and we both want to see it.”“You’re both going to the same movie, what is this ... some kind of date?”“Sort of,” I said. “There’s a girl I want to date, and Susan has agreed to give me some lessons on how to treat a girl on a movie date.”“I don’t see why not, remember he’s only 15, Susan. I don’t want him to become one those boys who thinks that the back of a movie theater is a place to make out.”“Yeah, Mom,” she said. “I’m taking him to a movie and teach him how to french kiss and get to second base!”“SUSAN!”After.
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