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After Nicole's little peep show, I held back for a week or so. I was still updating my journal, I didn't want to lose the progress I had made. But I also knew Nicole had taken a big step, and was very close to her limit. Honestly, I'm still amazed 20 years later that I was able to get her that far as quickly as I did. But I needed to keep the pot simmering, to borrow a phrase. I knew that if I asked for another show, or if I tried to advance her along, I stood a good chance of her pulling back. I'm not sure when, but somehow I had developed an innate sense of how far I could push her.So I left well enough alone. In my journal entries I flattered the hell out of her. I figured she was probably regretting her boldness, and I needed to repaint her memory of the event with what I wanted her to remember. Say something enough times, and it will eventually become the truth. So I went into great detail of how much I enjoyed the show and how I was surprised by how much Nicole had matured in. It’s so much hate!” I ran my hands through my hair. “How do I even process that? It’s ... I’ve had sex with five people. Five. And they’re all next door. You and I haven’t even made love yet. I can’t even imagine doing that to myself for the sake of hurting someone who’s out of my life.”“You’ve never been a teen-aged girl,” she laughed and then turned serious. “When two girls fight, they want to hurt each other as bad as possible. Normally one of those two girls goes out and fucks someone the other girl loves. Her boyfriend is the usual victim, but I’ve seen a brother and even a father end up dragged into it. Right now in Malibu, there’s a girl I went to high school with who has her worst enemy as a step-mom.”That got me to laugh. “Okay, that’s terrible,” I admitted.“It is,” she agreed with a giggle. “The point is though that you need to understand, girls use sex as a weapon, a tool, a crutch, a status symbol and anything else they can think of. The girls thought that doing that.
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