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Call it a tomb rather than a crib."Now's a good time for a banana split," I said as I staggered away from the sleep learner in the office area. I had a "bed room" consisting of a wall-to-wall gym mat that I used for sleeping or wild monkey sex—it was roughly the size of a boxing ring and doubled as an exercise area. I had a bathroom and dressing room of about the same ten meter by ten meter size with a combination jacuzzi and shower bath big enough for three or four humans. My office had a sleep learner, a desk, and some seating—along with a food station. I drew a liter of water and programmed a standard fast-food soft-serve banana split: three "scoops" of vanilla ice cream, a banana split lengthwise, chocolate syrup, pineapple sauce with chunks of pineapple, strawberry topping, imitation whipped cream, crushed peanuts, and a candied cherry. Standard plastic food—but I was grounding myself, not pretending to be a food critic. By contemporary standards, my banana split was a miniature. This Mel lady seems to be doing you some good. I’ll put the coffee on.”I needed that coffee, getting through several cups before lunch. My ten o’clock was a nightmare. The annual round of reviewing all our policies, session number 98437C. (Well, that’s how it felt, unending.) This one was all about data retention, record processing, off-site archiving and access procedures. The whole subject is a legal minefield; it’s impossible to get it 100% correct. Just as soon as you get yourself up to date, some idiot changes the rules again, and as you’re chasing that, some other lunatic sues to get it altered again ... Privacy fanatics against full disclosure nuts – no end in sight. By one o’clock, when we agreed that we could do no more today, I was almost wishing our hospital was part of some great healthcare corporation, where the home office dealt with all this crap and we just had to adhere to it. Almost. Most of the time it’s too satisfying being able to make decisions and implement.
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