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Yesterday my father called me into his study for ‘a little chat’. Little did I know this said ‘chat’ would change my life forever. When I sat down he started telling me all about my responsibilities to the family, being a woman and all. Then he started telling me how I was at such an age to be married and to provide my husband with children to carry on his name. Even then it didn’t occur to me what he was trying to hint at. He looked at me waiting for my response, when he received none he simply stated, ‘Alison Shade, the time has come for me to send you away to your betrothed.’ He wanted a reaction, well I sure gave him one. I started screaming at him about how this was not fair. I mean, didn’t I get to have a say in this. He calmly told me that it was agreed when I was still a wee toddler that one month after my eighteenth birthday, I was to be married to David Wonderland, son of George Wonderland, the richest man in the village three over from ours. How could I be expected to. .”Pam: “Ewwww”Michael: “...or Karen, or Holly...”Kevin: “Or Oscar?”Michael: “Well no, not gays, I mean guys, well you know what I mean. Everyone will leave their sexual desires out in the open as we do it with each other.”Toby: “Michael, I don’t think it’s a good idea to have this kind of party.”Michael: “Well you’re not invited Toby, cuz nobody wants to have sex with you anyway.”Dwight: “Question! Will there be human sacrifice? I nominate Andy!”Michael: “No there won’t be any human sacrifice people. Just a good old-fashion orgy. C’mon, you all went to college. It’ll be fun.”Meredith: “Will there be alcohol?”Angela: “The Party Planning Committee doesn’t approve.”Michael: “Well, get ready to get your funk on, because we’re having an orgy.” Jim and I like the idea. We think it will be a good way to show everyone our feelings for each other. It could be fun. There is no way I’m taking part in this. It’s sexist, and frankly, it’s disgusting. This is gonna be AWESOME! I’m gonna get to.
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