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For a moment I was unable to move or think as I was transfixed by this pale beauty. She slammed the coffin lid and approached me hissing in anger, the candlelight reflecting off her long red fingernails and bared fangs. I then remembered the cross in my coat pocket and the warning on the note. I removed it and thrust it into her face, she hissed and recoiled."Where is your treasure, Vampiress?" I questioned as I forced her back."Begone, mortal, you will find no treasure here," she hissed her response.Soon the backs of her knees were against the coffin that I had found her in, and as it was against the wall, she could not retreat any further."No treasure?" I exclaimed."None, now leave,"As I stared at her magnificent body I felt a stirring in my groin."Ahhh, but you do have a treasure and I will not go away empty-handed," I said firmly and started to unzip my fly. "You are quite beautiful, Vampiress. How long has it been since you had a lover?" I questioned."You would not dare," she. ’”I was at an ATM yesterday when a little old lady asked if I could check her balance, so I pushed that bitch over.Seth was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family business. When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed to find a wife with whom to share his fortune. One evening, at an investment meeting, he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away. “I may look like just an ordinary guy” he said to her “but in just a few years, my father will die and I will inherit $200 million”. Impressed, the woman asked for his business card and three days later, she became his stepmother. Women are so much better at financial planning than men.What do you call a white woman with a yeast infection? Cracker with cheese.“Dad is it better to pass or fail?” “To pass of course” “Oh good you’ll be proud of me! I passed my pregnancy test”Two life-long friends were enjoying.
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