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0I flung my arms about my son with abandon, hugging him fiercely against me.“Jenny... ? For gods sake the boy has only been gone four months!” That was my husband, Brent’s step-father, Robert.My eyes were squeezed tight and I held back a sob - it had been harder for me than Robert when Brent went off to an excellent University out east, on a scholarship.Brent’s arms were pressed tight against his frame and he gasped, “Mom... ?”Suddenly, I realized I may actually be harming my boy and immediately released him from my loving, but asphyxiating, grasp.Holding his shoulders in my hands I leaned back and looked up into my handsome son’s blue eyes. My gaze was blurring with tears, I was so happy to have my only child home - if only for a month.Robert leaned past me and slapped my son on the chest playfully, “How were the girls at school boy?”My reaction was automatic, though none seemed to even hear me, “Oh Robert!”Brent seemed thankful to look away from my sad-happy face, as he playfully. What does it feel like to have another person deep in the heart of you? To look up into their eyes, watch their face, feel their breath even while you feel them inside you. Do they feel what I feel? Am I truly doing these things, wanting these things? What does it smell like? Musk. Heavy. I imagine our scents would mingle in the air around us. Entwining as we have entwined. Joining as we have joined. Creating a single scent, as we were a single being for a time. What does it taste like? Salty. Unique. I imagine what sampling your skin would be like, learning you with my tongue as I have with my hands. Seeking out the very essence of you. What does real sex sound like? Fast. Low. Surely not like the theatric screams, moans, and grunts of pornography. I imagine the panting, the sounds in the back of our throats, the urge to shout and cry. Or quiet, hushed, muffled exclamations bitten into a pillow. Do they see what I see? Am I as flushed and sweaty as they are? What is it like to.
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