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’ ‘And you didn’t make a pass at her?’ ‘Well, no. She was a guest and we hadn’t seen each other for ten years. I didn’t know what she wanted.’ ‘You see?’ she said triumphantly. ‘She knows you have a sex life, that you have sex with more than one woman. Most men she’s been out with would want to fuck her and would show it, but not you. You show her respect and friendship as you did in school. She sees you are the same person you were — and she can’t get you out of her system. Your aloofness turns her on, makes her want you more! ‘Did you tell your girlfriends what happened?’ she asked. ‘Yes.’ ‘They told you you were in love with her, didn’t they?’ ‘Well, yes,’ I admitted. ‘See, we women are all agreed! We just know.’ ‘We’ve only seen each other for one weekend, I don’t think so.’ ‘Yes! You only met for one weekend. You haven’t seen each other since, yet look at the pair of you! She wrote you a love letter, and you are unhappy.’ ‘No I’m not!’ She gave me the look. Perhaps I was. ‘As I. I could see it in their eyes, but I didn't want to see the difference that misery made. I knew I was thinner, my jeans hung off my hips, and my muscles had lost their roundness. I was a sculpture made of wire and sticks. I felt empty.At night Nuka kept me company, whether I was home or not. I couldn't stand to be alone in my own bedroom. Mum had given up that fight pretty quickly after Babaanne had put her foot down. So Nuka followed me everywhere I went. The husky was good company, he was non-judgemental (unlike my mother) and didn't talk (unlike Paul) and didn't keep trying to make me eat (unlike everyone) and he didn't try to comfort me with empty words when I cried. I cried into his thick fur, comforter and tissues all in one and Nuka merely lay on the bed, big and warm beside me, head resting over my shoulder as I cried and sobbed and wept until the tears seemed like they would never stop. Somehow they always did.Everyone with the exception of Guy and Nuka told me that I would.
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