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‘I knew you’d always be my closest friend because you love me and I love you. But we both knew it could never be physical. We never needed to say it, we knew.’ I nodded slowly. ‘I’m so sorry.’ ‘You don’t need to be.’ She stood up. ‘Have another cigarette and come back when you’re ready, OK?’ She leaned down to look closely into my eyes and I nodded again. ‘Silly cow.’ I smiled a wan smile to myself as she walked away. I had never had a lover since University. I had always hoped, always half expected that Jess would claim me. I knew at the same time that she never would but nobody came close, nobody else mattered in that way. Oh, of course I had had people to share my bed, to fuck, but that’s all it was. They always disappointed, always fell short. Only Jess would do. I smoked another cigarette then, feeling extremely silly and embarrassed walked slowly back towards the hotel. Tippi was standing on the path, the sun behind her and through the soft white cotton of her long skirt her. I heard her humming to herself in the kitchen as she prepared dinner.Once dinner was ready, Roberta came into the living room to get me. As I had taught her, she came in quietly and knelt down in front of me in her kneeling posture. "Master, dinner is ready," she said looking down. I stood up, offering her my hand and pulled her up. Before we moved though, I hooked a finger under her chin and raised her face to mine. "That's much better. Good girl," I said. Roberta smiled and I took her hand walking her into the dining room. I seated her and then went to sit myself. She served up dinner and then waited as she should until I took the first bite."Do you like it, Master?" she asked."It is delicious, my little whore," I said. She was pleased that I was pleased. We ate dinner and afterwards she asked to be excused to clear the table. When she had the table cleared and the dishes in the dishwasher, I took her hand and led her into the living room. I sat down on the sofa this time instead.
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