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And again, almost instantly I knew she was not.I was enthralled by the simplicity of how this worked.For my next step, I decided to try degrees, so I wondered how thirsty she was. Surprisingly, she was a little thirsty."Wow, this is great! Simply by focusing, I can instantly know and understand her feelings," I realized.Bolstered by my little successes, I wondered what her favorite color was. Blue came to my mind. A deep, rich shade of blue. I opened my eyes as I asked, "Grace, would you tell me your favorite color?" Royal blue," she replied. "Why?"Instead of answering, I asked, "Are you thirsty? Would you like something to drink?" A little. I'll get something in a minute. Why are you asking me these things?" Please bear with me one more moment and touch my fingers again. Please?" Well, okay, but..." she trailed off as she touched my fingers suspiciously.It was very different this time. Before, she had been warm and open. Now she seemed more closed. I still had to try, so I wondered. That created a safe distance for her. I thought I had done something wrong each time, but my shrink said that if it happened so consistently it was her problem, not mine." You never did anything wrong?" Of course I did, but they were never associated with her outbursts."The shrink told me that it was a mild or serious case of bipolar disorder, and talented though I was, I couldn't fix it. Even worse, she couldn't fix it either. I finally figured out that she just couldn't stand the pressure of being close to someone. When she had those spells, I would send her off by herself for a few hours or a day, and she would come back delighted to see me again. It was always a disappointment because we enjoyed the same things, even kinky movies, and I liked her." Did you love her and see her often?" I could have loved her real self, but not the vacillations between love and hate. I see her every couple of months unless I have someone with more promise. She has a lot of talent," he sighed.No.
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