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The times we made love stayed with me, a series of videos I would run through my head during the darkest times. But I would always come back to her betrayal. Some days I didn't care if I got killed or not. I guess I was depressed about the entire situation. I was risking my life each day "for the folks back home." Then I would think that I was doing this to protect Mel and her fiancé. Damn!My world turned to shit a couple months after I took over the squad. We were taking a rest stop. We were in the middle of two other companies. The platoon leader called for a meeting of the NCOs in his group, the platoon sergeants and squad leaders. I started to walk back on the path we came in on, but I needed to take a dump. When I finished I noticed another path that looked to be shorter—because I had stopped I was late for the meeting. I had to cross a shallow stream. As I got to the middle I felt a slight resistance in front of my left boot. I had time to think, "Oh shit!" and didn't know. In fact, it had been totally natural. She said he had done everything right for her without her even having to tell him what right was. And he could say the same thing for her. In the back of their minds, they knew what they were doing was wrong. Steve had a wife 2,000 miles away. But it was oh so easy to dismiss that. After all, she’d never know, and Steve just needed this so much. Maybe it was that Maia, like Steve, was blind, and could understand the daily struggles and indignities Steve had to suffer so much better than Michelle could. Certainly that was part of it. Certainly this was no fling in the sack. Steve had never been that kind of person. He couldn’t be. But he couldn’t help how he felt about Maia. She had been so good to him, had taught him so much about himself. Steve felt some pangs of guilt that Michelle didn’t know Maia was going to be here. If she had known, she would have tried to stop him from going. All she knew was that he was going to spend the weekend with.
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