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I figured I could handle something as simple as Twitter with only 140 characters of space.My phone was beeping every three minutes with the details of everything except the bowel movements of the entire next generation. I am not ready to live like this. I keep my cell phone in the garage in my golf bag.The kids bought me a GPS for my last birthday because they say I get lost every now and then going over to the grocery store or library. I keep that in a box under my tool bench with the Blue tooth [it’s red] phone I am supposed to use when I drive. I wore it once and was standing in line at Barnes and Noble talking to my wife and everyone in the nearest 50 yards was glaring at me. I had to take my hearing aid out to use it, and I got a little loud.I mean the GPS looked pretty smart on my dash board, but the lady inside that gadget was the most annoying, rudest person I had run into in a long time. Every 10 minutes, she would sarcastically say, “Re-calc-u-lating.” You would think that. I hated the junior part. You'd think my parents could have taken the extra five minutes to find me my own name for the birth certificate.I ignored the hand James was offering me to shake and glowered at him. But I'm sure I wasn't very intimidating. At twenty-four I could still pass for eighteen, not standing an inch over five-ten."It's Cam," I replied. "Now look, about what you saw, it's not what you think, so..."He was smiling again. Damn him. Didn't he know that this was serious? I couldn't have him informing my family and extended family about my personal life."I'm sure it's exactly what I think it is," he said smugly.I just gaped at him."Who the hell do you think you are?" I demanded.He had the nerve to offer me his hand, smiling again. "James Phelman. Your parents hired me to..." I know who you are!" I waved his hand away. He was really starting to get to me, and I didn't need this kind of trouble right now. I was already homeless; if my parents discovered the real reason why.
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