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At night, we made unilateral love as I lay masturbating in my bed. She was my slave; I came in her every orifice; she writhed under my lash; and I felt her warm tongue touch me at every point. When I graded her tests, I prayed that she would do poorly, so that she would offer me sex in exchange for a passing grade.In fact she did do poorly. She was--not to be unkind--dumb, and basically uninterested in school.She was really there to be trained for a job but, like most teenagers, could not discipline herself to do what was necessary. As I had only recently realized myself that I was going to have to do something every day for the next forty or fifty years, I understood how she felt. (I don't really know why I perservered.It was probably a sort of psychic inertia, my parents' expectations providing an initial shove that carried me through, in a 'right line, ' so to speak, from which no force had yet pushed me.) Anyway, it was Shannon's lack of discipline that led to the events I am. “Carter?”“Hm?”“Do you mind if I take my pants off?”I hesitated, and swallowed hard with nervousness. There it was: the heavy dilemma I was now faced with. This single, potent question was what had caused me to reflect on this entire day. What was I to do? Deny Jennifer her comfort? It was a compromising situation, but obviously my cousin felt comfortable with it. I wouldn’t force her into anything, but she could act how she wanted, right? She was, after all, eighteen now.I repeated my mantra in my head: Nothing could happen. Nothing would happen.“Yeah...I suppose,” I permitted. “If...you think it’ll help you be comfortable.”“Oh, I know it will,” she responded, reaching deeply down inside our shared sleeping bag. A moment later, she brought the pants up and out, and tossed them off to the side of the tent. She laid down again and embraced me.There we lay, together: me naked from the waist up, her essentially naked from the waist down. My heart was racing faster and harder.
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