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’ Karen started to protest the injustice of the circumstances, ‘Hey, wait a fucking minute…’ ‘Now Karen, you need to be a better hostess. Guests always come first,’ I said, laughing at my pun. ‘Fuck that! I’m doing what you said…’ ‘I said it was a start, but if you weren’t serious about ‘doing anything I want,’ then we can stop it now and you can finish yourself off.’ ‘That’s not what I want,’ Karen whined, ‘I want you to fuck me…There!’ putting frustrated emphasis on the ‘There.’ ‘All good things to those who wait, and right now I want you to wait for our guests. Think of it this way, my love, the quicker we get Jackie off, the quicker I can turn my attention to your sweet ass.’ This really must be killing her. Not only did she have to watch others, particularly her nemesis Jackie, becoming sexually gratified when she had been nearly bursting at the seams with her own pent up and heightened arousal, but she was now made to service those others in the process. I could tell it wasn’t. No sooner do I make up my mind that I want to be a woman - I even arrangesurgery - then I realize that I don't enjoy having sex as a woman with aman -- or at least the closest thing to that I can achieve. Just great. Now where does this leave me?After I was sure that Mark had left my house, I got myself out of bed andwrapped my quilted satin robe around. I went downstairs to the kitchenand poured myself a very large glass of wine and tried my best not tothink about how confused I was making myself.The Morning AfterDespite the emotional roller-coaster of the prior day, I woke up the nextmorning feeling surprisingly good. Well, my bottom was still very, verysore. But other than that, I felt remarkably sure of myself. I wascomfortable with my decision to pursue my life as a woman. Realizingthat I didn't enjoy sex with men was a bit a surprise, but I alsorealized that that really didn't necessarily mean much. I was meant tospend the next chapter of my life as a girl. I would have.
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