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But Gloria did ask somequestions about why I needed to become a woman and how did I like it sofar. She seemed to accept my explanations at face value. And that was goodbecause I told it like it is. Almost my whole life I looked in the mirrorand saw a boy and then a man but I wanted to see a girl and then a woman.But I never told anyone. My therapist explained it as a shame response. Iwas ashamed to want to be a woman. The shame was so great that I did lotsof manly things to cover things up. I went out for all the athletic teamsin high school and at college I took on a sloppy look with long hair andpierced ears. But I did like girls. I got laid as often as the next guy.After graduation from college I got a good paying job and had enough moneyto afford to cross dress. Although I rarely went out I spent many weekendsas Monica. Sometimes I put on a nice outfit and went for a long drive. Butthis wasn't enough. I saw a therapist who worked with me to help me findmyself. After about six. I had my bowie knife in my left hand and my tomahawk in my right, and my mind and muscles concentrating on turning the two attackers into mincemeat.While in the Marines, I had taken advantage of every moment of training that I could get in hand-to-hand combat, the dirtier the better. At least in training, I was usually the victor. I had not had much of an opportunity to use my training in Iraq, but I did put a mugger in the hospital on my one visit to New York City. In any case, armed as I was, I was sure that I was the better off of the two sides in the upcoming battle with the two Indians.Each man had a bowie knife, and he was brandishing it like he knew what he was doing. I was surprised to see that each man was tending to overact, showing off for his fellow. Ah, the macho effect was showing through. Well, that was something else to my advantage. One man extended his hand holding the knife a bit too far, and, as quickly as a snake striking, I chopped down on his wrist with the.
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