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I liked to have my hair and nails done, to wear lipstick whenMom let us, and to look pretty. My friends were all girls. I did all thethings my sister did and I didn't do anything boys did, like sports. Sowhy wasn't I a girl?Mom explained that, although I could choose my own lifestyle, thephysical changes that were going to happen to me would make it hard forpeople to accept me as a girl. Once that happened, she continued, theintolerance of both children and adults for what in those days wasinsensitively called queers would result in my getting teased, probablybeaten up and certainly thrown out of school. She knew this from her ownexperience, because hippies were treated that way. She and her friendsgot called names, were harassed by the police, sometimes they were beatenup or thrown in jail and some were even killed, just because they weredifferent. She assured me that I had time to think things over, becausethe changes would be gradual and most likely I could get through the restof. About to leave the house I felt guilty conscious about inviting Ragu to meet secretly. Surely he must have thought that I was inviting sex with him. I throw myself onto the sofa and thinking what a slut I have made myself to be. I wanted to stay home but at the same time could not let Ragu down. I don’t have his mobile phone number to call the date off. It took some time for me to brace myself and took a taxi to meet Ragu. When we met I called for the drinks. I had wine and he, a large Guinness stout. Find it hard to start a conversation and I started by asking how long has he been in Singapore. They were only small talk until I finished my glass of wine and the effects got into me. I ordered another round of drinks for both of us and Ragu offered to pay for it but I insisted paying for it as I am the boss.Our conversation went quite well and I asked him about his family. He said he is married with 2 sons he missed them very much. I have lost my inhibitions from the drinks when.
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