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Both sucked but I decided to try the car one last time. As I walked back to Lucy I saw a man walking to a car near mine. I dont know what came over me, but I shouted to get his attention hey! he looked around not knowing where it came from and I shouted again. He saw me this time. And I ran over to him. My car isnt starting, could you give me a jump? I asked in my sweet voice. Yeah, sure thing gorgeous. I didnt think anything of it, I just wanted to go home. Names Holly. Thank you so much.. I waited for his name. No problem Holly, Im Ryan. I popped the hood, and he came over with the cables. I connected them while he went to his car for a flash light. I dont know why I wasnt paying attention, but the next thing I knew he was behind me. Pushing me against the car. Wh.. Wha.. What are you doing?! I stuttered. He just pushed against me harder. Shut it. Please.. Just dont do anything… I stopped talking when I felt him drag a blade across my cheek, then my neck. He held it there, against. I imagined affairs with neighbors, co-workers, the wives of my friends. It was a desire I felt ashamed of but couldn’t control. I’ve often wondered how many others have felt this way as often as I have. I love sex, I love the intimacy, the holding, the touching. It seemed like an especially cruel kick in the teeth that so much of what I desired was witheld from me, always. I slept next to a woman almost every night, a woman with whom I shared vows, yet, as I lay there awake, wishing for the soft touch of a woman, the feeling of female skin against me, the warmth of her bosom pressed against my chest, it was as if I were lying there alone. I knew I couldn’t touch my wife, my own wife. She would only pull away, and I’d feel even worse. It was times like these that I felt like I should just drive into a tree on my way home from the airport. Who would notice? Who would care? I was feeling it again as my seat-mate buckled herself in: that crushing wave of despair. I wanted this woman, but.
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