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Face what? Us? It was some heartbeats later that I sat bolt upright. Oh god. Oh god god god. Was that what he’d been trying to tell me? My shoulders sagged. No, it couldn’t be that. Could it? I pushed myself off the bed and moved to the small window that looked out over the back gardens and into the trees of the neighbouring courtyard gardens. The wind had picked up, dark clouds scudding low along the ridge of dark trees. I took a moment and just concentrated on breathing. No wonder I’d felt that deja-vu feeling. The first time he’d paced like that, agonising, wretched, he’d told me he cared about me. Cared. The very next day he’d retreated completely. Licking old wounds. Putting up old walls. Retracting the sensitive underbelly he’d dared expose. To me. That’s what he didn’t want to face. Being hurt, and rejected. Just as I’d just rejected him. Steph, you fucking fool. I let my forehead fall against the windowpane with a clunk. The cool of the glass felt good against the burning. The floor was faux wood paneling, accented in a few places by small rugs.“Our room is upstairs,” Erica said as she checked a mail cubby by the door. “And house rules say that male visitors must leave by 8 – but that doesn’t matter if no one knows you’re here.” She winked and added, “It’s not like they’ll check, unless we’re really loud.”I nodded. “And I officially accept your invite. What’re the plans for tonight?”She grinned. “Costume rave, actually. Our sorority’s going as faeries – that means fake wings, sheer dresses, and body glitter. Others are doing Catholic schoolgirls, nurses, you name it.”She paused for a second before she added, “You can come with us. Each of us is allowed to bring one non-Greek along, and neither of us had dates picked out.”I grinned and said, “Sounds fun! What’re we doing until then?”Amita nudged me in the shoulder and said quietly, “Let’s go figure that out. C’mon, before house mom sees us and makes you sign in.” She turned and walked up the stairs in.
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