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My partners understood; their main concern was that we take the time we needed. It’s the same as major surgery, in a way: you don’t put major stress on the wound until it’s healed enough to take the stress without rupturing again.I did go back to work, and Lily and I did set about building a new normal. For years, other than work, she was my world. I didn’t date, and didn’t want to. Inevitably, I would have compared any woman to Rowan, and it would have been hard to find anyone who could have survived the comparison.Rowan was brilliant and creative, a painter whose gallery shows did very well and a poet who was published in major magazines (even, once, The Atlantic); her lightning intuition and gift for seeing things from a different angle from everyone else played very well off my analytical approach to life, and her spontaneity did much to balance my tendency to overthink and overplan things. She was also a loving and supportive wife, my biggest encourager, and a sexual. I knew she'd find a lot wrong today. Whenever we argued, she always found lots wrong with my work. She was going to keep me working all through the evening correcting all my "mistakes." Don't get me wrong by the way. I know I said "fought" and "argued" but we really didn't fight these days. It was more a matter of her getting angry and me doing what she ordered. In a sick/funny sort of way, this is exactly the opposite of how it used to be. Whenever we argued in the past, I merely raised my voice and Stephie did as she was told. Of course, unlike her, I was only acting in both of our best interests. Stephie seems to be acting more or less without thinking about my feelings.The next day I wore Stephie's clothes for the first time. Stephie "allowed" me to wear a pair of very tight pastel orange shorts. They looked like hot pants on me! I felt really gay. Underneath I wore panties. Things got worse. "I won't have you ruining my clothes the way you ruined your own. From now on, when you.
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