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I think it was just the TV remote but I couldn’t be sure. Fortunately, no glass broke.“Sorry,” I said, trying to maintain the few shreds of dignity I had left. “How much do you weigh, anyway?” There’s that lame attempt at humor again.“A hundred and thirty, thank you very much. When was the last time you saw the inside of a gym, mister?”“Too long ago, obviously!”Mel’s about 5’8” or 5’9”, so 130 pounds is absolutely perfect. I was just not as young as I wanted to be.We made it to the bedroom with only slight shoe damage to her walls, and I dropped her on the bed, a bit unceremoniously, I must admit.Mel propped herself up on her elbows. “You have no idea how turned on I am right now.”I tried responding, but mostly I just breathed heavily. I held up one finger to her for a few moments, then was finally able to speak. “I think… (gasp)… I detect… (gasp, gasp)… sarcasm…”“Noooo!” She said, sarcastically. “You need some water? I don’t have any Geritol…”“Hey you,” I teased.. Afterward, we'll slowdance for a while, with you leading the entire time, followed by aromantic, moonlight makeout session in the lounger on the back patio. Toculminate the evening, we'll strip to our lingerie, and make sweetpretend-lesbian love until we fall asleep from exhaustion. Is myunderstanding correct?" Yes, that's essentially correct," replied Becky, the birthdaygirlfriend, adjusting the frame of her large, round eyeglasses.Mark rolled his eyes and shook his head. Mark and Becky had been datingfor only two months. They both considered the sex to be great, and theyseemed nice enough to each other. However, this request from Becky camecompletely from left field, as far as Mark was concerned."Fuck that shit. Look, I know it's your birthday, and I said we'd dowhat you wanted, but that's not something that ever was on the table.What possessed you to make such a bizarre request?" Aw, come on! It'll be fun and adventurous! Don't you ever want to pushthe boundaries in romantic.
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