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She knows that I enjoy when she is lying beside me on the sofa, feeling her warm body and smell her scent but I grieve with her when she spontaneously bursts into tears over an old sore memory. She knows I have fun when I see her half-dressed for the wardrobe, frustrated because she does not know what to wear but I grimace as she calls adamant that everything doesn’t fit because she thinks she is ugly.But for every tear and grimace we experience every day there are countless moments of wonder, pride and happiness. A radiant smile on her face as she shows her work with pride, a look and posture of victory when she defeated me for the umpteenth time in a game, a sense of satisfaction as she shows me how beautiful her flowers and plants in her garden flourish. And at each moment, every time, I put my arm over her and admire her.She turns around and I can feel how cold it is in my bedroom now that her arm is no longer on my chest. The same cold as at a particular winter day when we were. " She looked at me, incredulous. "It's tacky. You really wanna do this?" You don't want to?" No!" She looked at the place again. She said anxiously, "Steven, I don't. I don't. It doesn't feel right. It's -- Nice people don't do this."I sighed, getting very angry, counting to three, five, six. "All right. Whaddya want to do?"She said, eyeing me fearfully, "Well, we can park. We always do. We can find a place. There's lots of safe --" All right," I said, cutting her off and starting the engine. I backed up quickly, then took off with the tires squealing.She watched me while I drove, my eyes straight ahead. "Steven, what's the matter? I mean, you have me scared, what's wrong with you?" Nothin'." Well, you... Listen, I'd do it with you, but... you know, let me think it about it. All right?"She eyed me warily from across the seat as I drove along, headed for the heavily forested side roads of the pricey Shady Grove section of town, where she lived. After a moment she moved closer to me and.
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