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There, the A120 gets serious past Stansted, so I got on the narrower A1060 and weaved my way to Chelmsford. I’d just as well avoided that city, but navigated through onto the A414 to Maldon, and I was home.The call came a couple of weeks after my coffee with Doctor Green. I was invited to the Health Centre for an interview. Well, it was an interview. Doctor Green was not present – I was, um, interrogated, by the three senior partners in the practice. It was clear that Doctor Scattergood, the Principal, was of the old school, sceptical, if not even dismissive, of ‘talking therapies’. He was clearly within a year or two of retirement, but reluctant to surrender any of his control over the policies of the practice. Doctor Ford, who was male and Doctor Ellis, female, were both ten years or so younger than their Principal and less ... set in their ways, but reluctant to challenge Doctor Scattergood directly.“Doctors,” I sighed eventually, “I didn’t seek this interview. I don’t claim any. Sure enough, he did.“No. Sorry. I understand what you mean. When should we?”Now that I knew I had him in my wishes, I told him the three rules that I have used so many times since then that I have them by-heart now.“Rule 1: You will not try to find my identity. You will not ask me for Facebook request. You will not try to contact me before or after we meet.” obviously I didn’t want a stalker to mess me up.“Rule 2: You will get medical tests done for all possible STDs and bring those results when we meet. I will do the same” I didn’t want a weekend of fun to fuck up my whole life.“Rule 3: You will book a room in a 3-star hotel for the weekend and bear all expenditure of stay, food and booze” I thought this last one made me sound like a hooker, but I didn’t wanna waste my time on a cheapo.Obviously, he agreed. We set a date. He made the bookings in advance and sent those to me for “review”. It was a water-park-resort of NH8. I think Royal Garden resorts, but don’t remember.
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