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"Sorry, love. I didn't say what time I'd get in, did I? We're in the Colne now. I should be with you by midnight. Don't wait up, will you?"Half relieved to hear him, half cross he would be so late, she just said, "Take care, Tom," before hanging up. She covered the bowls of salad, made herself some tea and sat down with her guitar, a tune running through her head, words coming, unbidden, to fit it. Words written in the nineteenth century by Elizabeth Barrett Browning;How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.I love thee to the depth and breadth and heightMy soul can reach, when feeling out of sightFor the ends of Being and ideal Grace.I love thee to the level of everyday'sMost quiet need, by sun and candle-light.I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.I love thee with a passion put to useIn my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.I love thee with a love I seemed to loseWith my lost saints, -- I love thee with the breath, Smiles,. ? She didn?t feel beautiful or special. She felt like a filthy, weak little whore for giving in like this. The voice in her head that told her to fight, that she was a pathetic, worthless piece of shit for giving in to him grew quieter as she concentrated on what he said. Someone was proud of her; someone thought she was beautiful, even though she stank and her hair hung in limp, greasy tangles; someone thought she was special, not worthless. She wanted to believe those things about herself, not that she was weak and worthless. When she saw what was pushed out of the shadows with her bowl of rice, she almost cried with gratitude. ?Thank you, sir,? she whispered, crawling to the bars to retrieve the towels, shampoo and soap. * * * Bathing in the small sink was difficult, but Tina reveled in the feeling of water and soap. First she soaked her hair, forcing her head under the low faucet, heedless of it digging painfully into her scalp. Then she forced her head under the flowing water.
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