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’ I went over. Nobody was home!A hooker once told me she had a headache.I was making love to this girl and she started crying. I said, ‘Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?’ She said, ‘No, I hate myself now.’My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves.I’m so ugly I stuck my head out the window and got arrested for mooning.The other day I came home early and a guy was jogging, naked. I asked him, ‘Why?’ He said, ‘Because you came home early.’My wife’s such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer.I know I’m not sexy. When I put my underwear on I can hear the Fruit-of-the-Loom guys giggling.My wife is such a bad cook. In my house we pray after the meal.My wife likes to talk to me during sex; last night she called me from a hotel.It’s been a rough day. I got up this morning and put a shirt on and a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase and the handle came off. I’m afraid to go to the bathroom.I was such an ugly kid! When. I was mauling my best buddy’s boobs and rubbing my fingers over her pussy at the same time. Himani had her eyes closed, panting heavily.I then inserted my hand inside her jeans short by undoing her button. My best friend’s pussy was already wet. I inserted my finger inside her pussy and she jerked up in her seat! I quickly looked around to see whether anyone noticed and luckily, it was a bit empty theatre. I got back to rubbing my best friend’s pussy and finger fucking her.Her hands too got on my dick and were rubbing it. Within a couple of minutes, she had unbuttoned my jeans and started giving me a handjob on my cock which sprung out. I started kissing her like crazy while we were oral fucking each other. I kissed her boobs and bit her nipples over her t-shirt.In a surprise move, my best friend bent over the seat sideways and took my dick in her mouth and started slurping on it, giving me a wonderful blowjob! I held her hair with one hand and my other hand was pressing her boobs.
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Fast forward maybe a year later and I catch her on Yahoo again and we go to lunch. She tells me she's in love with her new boyfriend but still wants me. I tell her I still need sex. She says she would give it to me but can't so she tells me to hit on her friend. (Unbeknownst to me this was her ploy to get me out of her system because she supposedly couldn't fuck someone who fucked her friend) She gave me the whole game plan - "Tell her she's cute, sugarcoat some other shit, then make your move." I did exactly that and by the next morning I had dropped 2 loads in her pussy. The original friend also told me new friend was a swinger and she told me some of these stories. One in particular caught my interest though. Apparently the previous year, she had friends over at her place for sex. A female and a guy. She is bi so she showed me some pics of her and her friend sharing the guy's cock and sucking tits. However the part that interested me the most is about the guy and her (legal).

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