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It was the time for fixing things. A curtain rod, the kitchen radio, screen door, the oven door, the hem in a dress. Things we keep.It was a way of life, and sometimes it made me crazy. All that re-fixing, eating, renewing, I wanted just once to be wasteful. Waste meant affluence. Throwing things away meant you knew there’d always be more.But then my mother died, and on that clear summer’s night, in the warmth of the hospital room, I was struck with the pain of learning that sometimes there isn’t any more.Sometimes, what we care about most gets all used up and goes away ... never to return ... So ... While we have it ... it’s best we love it ... And care for it ... And fix it when it’s broken ... And heal it when it’s sick.This is true. For marriage ... And old cars ... And children with bad report cards ... And dogs with bad hips ... And aging parents ... And grandparents. We keep them because they are worth it, because we are worth it. Some things we keep. Like a best friend that. Knowing me, I would make a puddle inside the doorway as I opened it to greet him when he arrived home.Naked, I walked down the stairs to the living room and sat on the couch, the one where daddy watched me pet my pink kitty, and looked out the window to watch for his car. I should have grabbed a towel though. I was beginning to leak on the cushion. Mom was going to freak when she saw the stain. There was nothing I could do about it now. It was simply too late. I'd just tell her I spilled some juice. Mom would never know it was vaginal. But I would and I would know the reason why!Just as I was pondering that, daddy turned slowly into the driveway. I jumped up off the couch, and sure enough, my contribution had soaked into the fabric of the cushion. I chuckled a little then ran to the door. I listened closely for the slam of the driver's side door and daddy's footsteps on the sidewalk. When I knew daddy was close enough, I opened the door and struck a pose, my long arm on the door jam.
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