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I work for a large electronics firm and Bettina and I were attending the corporation's annual Christmas party. Bettina was wearing a short white cocktail dress and a pair of white CFM's with four-inch heels. She wasn't wearing a bra and she was so tanned that she didn't wear hose. Half the men at the party had their tongues hanging out as they looked at her and almost all the women wished she had never come. At eleven or so the regional manager that I worked under came up to me and told me that Mr. Salmons, the CEO of the company, was drunk on his ass and that as the most junior manager there I had been elected to take him home. Bettina was a little pissed at having to leave the party early, but finally she realized what not graciously accepting the task would do to my career and she cooled down. A couple of guys managed to get Salmons out to my car and had dumped him on the front seat next to Bettina. I was a little surprised to find that Salmons wasn't all that drunk, just too drunk. They have not been retouched or corrected. Incorrect spelling has been left in.1. In the first book of the bible, guinessis. God got tired of creating the world so he took the sabbath off.2. Adam and eve were created from an apple tree. Noah’s wife was joan of ark. Noah built and ark and the animals came on in pears.3. Lots wife was a pillar of salt during the day, but a ball of fire during the night.4. The jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with unsympathetic genitals. 5. Sampson was a strongman who let himself be led astray by a jezebel like delilah.6. Samson slayed the philistines with the axe of the apostles.7. Moses led the jews to the redsea where they made unleavened bread, which is bread without any ingredients.8. The egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterwards, moses went up to mount cyanide to get the ten commandments.9. The first commandment was when eve told adam to eat the apple.10. The seventh commandment is thou shalt not admit.
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