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" Mom, I told you that I don't have a date - I'm not going!" You have a date honey, I told you, I made all the arrangements." You got me a date?" Yes." Who?" Me."It took her a long time to talk me into it. First I said, "No way! I can hear it now; "Derek had to bring his mommy to the prom. Derek is a mommy's boy, Derek is a mommy's boy." My reputation as a nerd was bad enough without piling that on top of it.But mom beat down every argument I put forth. "First honey, none of your teachers has ever met me so the chaperones won't know who I am and none of the kids you go to school with have ever seen me so they won't know either. I look ten years younger than I am and you look two years older than you are so all they are going to see is a good looking guy with an older girlfriend. Just think what that will do for your reputation."I was still leery, but in the end I caved in, more to please my mom than for any other reason."Don't you worry baby, I'll make you proud."She did and before we. I grew distant, withdrawn. We both wanted a family and it was not possible. Not possible because of me. Terry was patient. Tender and always there for me. That is when it started, my reluctance to have sex of any kind. I mean not even a hand job for my poor husband. I was consumed by my own failure. I could never have a child of my own. Terry would never have a son. Why even both going through the motions? Why, well why anything anymore? Not realizing what I was doing at the time I quickly alienated my beloved. The hurt I was causing directly stemmed from my own selfishness. Allowing my pain to isolate me from the one person who cares the most for me is what makes me share this now. Time elapsed. Days became weeks, in turn becoming months and finally two years passed. We had no intimate relations of any sort. I knew Terry masturbated had even found some of his porn. At the time providing me with even more of a reason to avoid my husband and his dirty cock. By now I knew we were.
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