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Rose's parents still lived up in Grand Rapids and while she missed them very much, she had to get out of there and put the unpleasant memories behind her. Rose told me she graduated high school and was in college when she met her ex-husband. She managed to get her nursing degree, but right after she and Michael, her now ex-husband, got married.Then it was my turn to tell my story. I told her that I, too, grew up in an "average American family", that I had no siblings, and that both of my parents were no longer alive. She found that last part very sad. "I'm sorry Brad," she said, putting her hand over mine."It's okay Rose, it's been a while now and I've adjusted. You never 'get over it', but you have to keep going."I told her that I was in college getting my Master's degree in Computer Science and my plans to become a systems management analyst and security expert. "Ooh, you must be very smart!" she said. I knew it was a veiled compliment, but it was still nice that she recognized. ..well, is, the sad result would be the guy, you oranyone else in your position, would forever compare yourself to any newguy and either find that person lacking or himself lacking. Guys alwayscompare, you know that. It could too easily lead to jealousy orcontempt, neither of which would be good, for you or for me."As those thoughts sink in, she continues, "For a while, I felt maybe theposition should be filled with a gay guy. But the reality is there,it's awfully hard to find someone who has your physical attributes,small but very agile, and able with all your abilities to act as abodyguard, yet who can also share the personal, intimate moments withme. I also seriously considered young women who may be close to yourabilities, but what I saw there was that they are more often than notlesbians who will have problems if I were to bring a male friend alongwith whom I might become intimate. And there we go again with eitherjealousy or contempt. With straight women, I found too often.
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