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I’m a 32-year-old, single white female. I started visiting xHamster some time ago at the suggestion of my friend, Mark (more about him later). He asked me to find movies that I enjoyed and share them with him. It was his way of “getting to know me” and I enjoyed the game. I also enjoyed the movies I found, but was drawn more to the stories. I am especially turned on by the ones that are (or FEEL) real.It made me want to share some of my experiences.I was a victim of abuse growing up, but like many I ended up falling in love with my abuser (my father) and my sex life is driven by the way he “trained” me. He made me his little whore and though I do not see him anymore, I remain his little whore to this day. Not everything about sex is perfect, good, sexy, hot. Some of it is pain and baggage. It shapes you and even when you try to resist, you find yourself wanting, desiring, the very things that you’re running from.That’s the basis of my story.I am sure that I will eventually write. It provided some familiarity and attachment in otherwise very transient job. Thanks to the regulars there were things baristas could look forward to or complain about. He also liked that all of them were slightly mysterious, same way as he seemed to recognise and know her, but knew nothing about her. He didn't know her name nor who she was. All he knew were her habits, what she drank, where she sat, what she read. And it was not sticking to those habits that surprised him that morning. He wondered for who was the second latte she ordered, one more than usual beverage. It was early, his eyes still felt sticky from sleep, limbs a bit stiff and mind hazed by recent, sudden waking up. Yann was always the first to be called in to cover someone else's hangover day off. It was the price of living next to your work space, but there were other, nicer perks too. Like being able to wake up five minutes before you were due to be at work. 'It wasn't even supposed to be my shift', he thought,.
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