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This 55-year-old Alabama Trumper died of ‘a medical emergency’ while attacking the Capitol on Wednesday Jan. 6th. What happened? He tasered himself in the balls. The taser he stuffed into his pants accidentally discharged into his groin while he was trying to steal a portrait of Tipper Gore, causing him to suffer a fatal heart attack. Heck of an obituary. 2 weeks ago, he was acting tough on social media ... my vote for this year’s Darwin Award!✧ ✧ ✧GOOGLE Pizza (phone order conversation)Hello! Is this Gordon’s Pizza?No sir – it’s Google Pizza.I must have dialed a wrong number. Sorry.No sir – Google bought Gordon’s Pizza last month.OK. I would like to order a pizza.Do you want your usual, sir?My usual – you know me?According to our caller ID data sheet, the last 12 times you called you ordered an extra-large pizza with three cheeses – sausage – pepperoni – mushrooms and meatballs on a thick crust.OK – that’s what I want.May I suggest that this time you order a pizza with ricotta –. So, I felt a little justified in feeling that way, especially given my virginal and puritanical upbringing and social conditioning.”Dori smiled. “Good.” She turned to Dave, “And you?”“Same answers, but with much less concern about my slutty ways. I like being a man slut. I think it’s a worthy profession.”“And you, Pam?”“I can’t wait for tonight. I’ve been an occasional slut since I was fourteen, so no need to change now, and no reason to hold myself to task. I’m not new to this rodeo, and I happen to love the group sex – that’s new for me. More than that, I like all of you and the others so much. I’m feeling affectionate towards everyone. I’m also hoping that my influence will ease the burden of sluthood for Alice and Dave, and anybody else that falls into your clutches.”Dori joked, “What am I, the Wicked Witch of the North?”Dave teased, “We’ll have to see if you melt when sprayed all over with certain male fluids.”Dori laughed, “Well, all seems well here in the Land of Oz. We’ll see.
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