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"We gave two sons to the Motherland," Admiral Gorshin continued to the young Ensign, "both on the same day, at the battle of Kursk. Katka's heart dimmed when she heard the news. As if two candles were extinguished from the flickering glow of her spirit. I grieved for them myself, of course, but no-one mourns like a Mother." The incandescence of our love settled to a comforting warmth as we left the war behind us. I called it a day when peace was declared and we retired to my dacha on the Black Sea. She liked it there, and our remaining children came to visit us with our Grandchildren. The climate revitilised Katka. She had cancer, of course, but never told me till the day she died. She lived to a good age until it returned. When she went, I returned to Kronshtadt. I couldn't stand the Black Sea without her."Admiral Gorshin stared for a long while at the empty bottle of vodka on the table. The interview had plainly exhausted him and his hovering orderly suggested, pointedly, that it. . Holdingback your feelings until they boil over isn't healthy and it could bedangerous... I just want to make sure that you're prepared for..." Holding back my feelings? Are you serious?" I ask dumbfounded. "I can'thold anything back anymore! It's like my body wants to start bawlingover nothing!" Jordan we've gone over this... While it's intense now, once you getused to having your heightened emotional states... You'll be able tostart dealing with it in a much healthier way," he said trying failinglyto calm me."That's it though, I don't want to have to deal with it! Yes, I had amoment when I noticed my body starting to change, and yes, I had ameltdown... As it sunk in though... I don't know... I guess the changesaren't as scary as they once were... I think I can deal with them...It's just the damn emotions... It's all I can do at school to not breakdown in tears when something stupid gets to me." Jordan, I understand how this is frustrating for you... It's okay toget upset about.
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