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I stood up and walked over to the fence. It was a little too tall to peer over, so I listened carefully. Perhaps I had been mistaken as all I got was silence. I shrugged and walked back to my chair.I must have dozed off because the next thing I heard was Eliza’s unmistakable voice.“Oh dear, did we tire you out yesterday?”I jerked awake and blinked my eyes. The sun had moved around and was now shining directly in my eyes. She was already lowering herself into the second chair and was happily pouring herself a glass of wine as my vision slowly cleared.“Sorry,” I said, “I must have nodded off.”“And why not? On a Sunday in your own garden? And after such a strenuous day, as well.” Her voice was gently mocking but her smile was warm and friendly.“Good morning,” I responded rather too formally as I raised my glass to her, “or is it afternoon?”“Only just the afternoon,” she assured me, “and how are you today?”“I’m feeling good. Much better after a hearty breakfast.”“I apologise for serving. “Did he drown? How small is he, anyway?” “He’s rather big, actually,” Carlotta said, “but that’s not the point.” “Is he small, or big?” I said. “You’re confusing me.” I took a drink of whiskey. I needed it. “It’s about my love button,” Carlotta said. “What’s wrong,” I said, “did you lose it?” “No,” Carlotta said, “I didn’t lose it but the men I’ve been with have been clueless about its location. That’s my problem. I want to know if there’s a man alive who can find my pleasurenut,” Carlotta said. “This is nuts,” I said. I had to take another drink. “You keep changing the subject. First it’s a man, then it’s a button, now it’s a nut. Which is what I’m beginning to think you are.” “I don’t mean to be obscure,” Carlotta said. “I’m talking about my spark plug. You must have heard of what I’m referring to?” “I don’t think so, lady,” I said. I rolled my eyes and took another drink. A big drink. “Now it’s internal combustion engines; I’m getting a headache.” “I’ve got to find a man who can.
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