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..well it hurts more then I have let on.I am being kept here by the selfish need to keep people happy and the fact that death hurts in more then one way.[I]~Jesus Christ. When will this be over? Am I going to have to sit here and hurt for the rest of my life? Failure, after failure, moving from person to person, never seeming to be able to keep the people I care for? I suppose so.What can I say that can take away all of the wrongs I have made? Would someone explain them to me? Maybe then this little misunderstanding can be done and over with. I am getting tired. So tired in fact I've contemplating ending it all here. But no...no I can't do it here. There are too many people it would hurt so I have to stay until it's my time to go. I only want to kill myself, not end other peoples lives. Diary maybe you can't give me the answers but I wish someone could. I have never had a time in my life where I haven't had a good memory...But that's all it ever is; a memory. Nothing solid or right in. You know, you have never even told me once that you thought I was pretty, or anything close to that," said Rayne. "Do you even think I'm pretty?" Well, do YOU think you're pretty? I'm pretty sure you already know the answer to that question, and I'm willing to bet you've known most of your life. Any reasons you need me to validate it? It's not like it matters to me one way or the other," smiled Matt."You! Can't you say it just once?" asked Rayne in mock anger with puppy dog eyes.Matt smiled as he reached in his pocket. He pulled out a large diamond ring out and put it on Rayne's finger."Would you Rayne d'Angelo Griffith, the hottest woman I personally know, who made me totally forget there were every any other women in the world, would you do me the honor marrying me Mattholomew Dane Spencer and make me the happiest man in the world?" asked Matt with wide smile."And before you ask, this is not the ring I gave Vanessa. This is my grandmother's ring on my mother's side. My mother gave.
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