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" She whispers.I look at her. "What?" He told me the reason why he was using me so he could forget." Forget what?"She looks at me, her eyes filled with pain. "You." She says quietly and matter of fact like. "Me? All this time he was using you to get to me? I'm sorry Matsuri, it's my fault." How?" I sighed and told her what had happened. "Well, maybe you really should talk to him then, explain all this to him, and tell him I expect an apology." Yeah, maybe." I say without much commitment. "I'm going to go home now. Good night Hinata." Night."I watch her figure recede in the darkness of the village, as she disappears, I get up and go back to my own room. I lay down, and let sleep take me.***I wake up instantly, the pain in my stomach unbearable. I stagger to the bathroom and vomit loudly, what little food I've eaten wretches from my body. My stomach tightens painfully as I continue to heave. Nothing is coming out now, and now that I'm done, I feel fine again, other than my mouth tasting. But I know I could have beat him if I was 100%. I got lots of sympathy and claps on the back by everyone, including Coach. It could happen to anyone, you were bound to lose sometime, better now than at the championships.The thing is, I knew I blew it. And I knew why.The human mind is a miraculous thing. It can conceive things never imagined before and make them real. It can rationalize frailty so that the biggest screwup in the world can convince himself he's something special. And it can take a little data and twist it around and reach a conclusion. Not necessarily a good conclusion, a correct conclusion, but an accepted conclusion, nonetheless.What "facts" did my mind have to work with? First, Jill thought she was on some kind of probation until such time that I decided we knew each other well enough and I liked her enough to stick with her. Second, she was worried she had some competition from a girl I'd known for years, who lived near me, was in most of the same classes I was and.
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