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Probably I'd lent the brain cell to someone, or perhaps I sneezed it out. I offer it only as an example of how not to do dialect because it is bloody difficult to read. Oh yes, and I used Lord Lucan as a nom dee ploom because I can see the old family seat from my window. Or I could if the snow would let up. I don't expect a TPA greater than 1.1.1., but you can please yourselves, and I'm sure you will"Interstishul' yer say?"There I is, sat in a corner of the local's bar in the 'Jovial Tar'. What a bloody daft name that be. 'Twere the Jolly Sailor afore all they buggers from up London moved inter t'village an' landlord thort 'twere too commin fer the likes o' they, so 'ee got the brewry ter change it. Anyways, I'm wi my mate George an' ee's just used this big werd."S'right," says George, blowin the froth off 'is beer. I ain't never too shore about the froth on the beer 'round 'ere, cos 'tis very likely that the glasses din't get rinsed proper like."Wassit mean then?" I sez. Well now,. After the happy wedding , Anna’s Dad and Dave’s Mom went on a honeymoon , and since their c***dren are already mature , they didn’t have a problem leaving them alone in the house … but Anna’s head was already overfilled with perverted thoughts , as she looked at her new older step-b*****r and couldn’t help but think of erotic stories from the websites she read all the time … he wasn’t her dream-boy model , but she thought he was cool with his careless personality … and since they weren’t related , it only made her mind go wilder … Dave didn’t look at her the whole time , wearing head-phones , listening to music and spacing-out while Anna keep looking at him … once they were alone at the house , Anna wanted him to pay attention to her so she talked to him for the first time and said : ‘ h-hey … Dave ! … I just want you to know that I’m every excited … I-I mean happy to have you here in our house … so … how about we get to know each other a little better ?! ^^, ‘ …. Dave looked at her.
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I knew what I had to do. Miss Butkis was not innocent. She had thoughts of killing him - I knew it. This was God's will indeed. ~~~Musings from the graveThis is a dark and foreboding place, I hate coffins because they’re so small. And that noise is deafening. What the fuck are they doing up there? I mean, I don’t have to stay here I can just leave. In fact, I think I will.Look at them, gathering around the grave and sobbing. Twats! All of them.“That's right make sure I can't escape, pour in more soil and why not throw in a few gold bars for good measure. That should keep the lid firmly in place.”They can’t hear me, which is just as well.And that bastard in the dog collar has the gall to stand there with his book open and praise me.“That’s right throw in a few crumbs of soil while you speak utter crap. Loved was I? Well, fuck me.”The only thing they loved was my money and my cock. I won’t miss them. I won’t miss any of them.Well, okay, I may miss Rosie’s mouth but not the cleaning.

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