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As quietly as she could, Janie slipped from Joel's arms, got up and walked over to Sara."Feel better mom?" Janie asked as she hugged Sara tight."I do feel a bit better honey. Dan gave me a nice bath. I highly recommend taking a hot bath with a lover to help. It was wonderful. But how about you, how do you feel honey?" I'm kind of numb mom, and my head still hurts, but I'll be ok. I think we're both lucky to have wonderful men who love us."Sara hugged Dan as Janie spoke."Mom, while you were in the bathroom Joel and I decided that we'd like to be alone together tonight. We're going to sleep at Joel's. We don't have a change of clothes here anyway. Do you mind?"Sara took Janie in her arms and hugged her close. "I think that may be the best thing baby. Dan and I feel the same way. Shall we meet at the funeral home in the morning?"Janie thought for a moment. She had not thought of Hank and his funeral since the attack at Hank's house."Yes, let's just meet there. The funeral is at 11 AM. I. He spent the night on my sofa.The next morning, I went to an AA meeting and phoned my sponsor Hal Roberts. He was in his sixties and he and his wife, Nelda, were my second family. He and I went fishing together, and I had dinner with them once a week. I had been going to take Melody to their house for dinner the day that Karen had ended her life.I met him for lunch at Gordy's and I unloaded on him. He listened, his blue-gray eyes never leaving my face. When I finished speaking, he reached across the table and gently swatted my cheek with his hand. "Son, stop feeling guilty. No matter how much you want to do it, you can't protect Melody from everything. You can only do what you can do and nothing more."I started to protest that I wasn't feeling guilty, but stopped myself. He was right. I was playing an if only game with myself. If only I had been in the store that day; if only I had called her and asked her to take the day off. I had a list that would have gone for pages had I taken.
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