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”Well, that’s kind of an odd compliment. “They may not thinkthat at all, they may be just trying to make conversation,or maybe make a date, or even pick me up.”His penis stirred more. “Maybe that would be OK, too.”Now I was beginning to understand something new about myhusband. I took the hand he had on my hip, and moved it tomy crotch, then grabbed his cock – it was erect, now.“Barbara, you’re getting all warm!”“Tom, you’re getting all stiff.”We put the stiffness and warmness together, and made love.That’s not quite true. We fucked.And talked, too, during the less active moments..“Let me be sure I understand. You get turned on when youthink about guys trying to pick me up.”He responded both physically and verbally: “Yeah.”“Well, I’ve heard of men like you. You’re some kind ofvoyeur.”“Yeah, maybe.”“Tom, I’ve been married to you all. Kept you coming back for the comfort and the company you so missed and needed. It became a fairy tale just at the edge of reality and you gladly romped among the colored flowers and clouds, thinking only of the rewards and not the jeopardy. After all this was online and it meant nothing. Right? Just pretend people with pretend feelings. So, ask yourself then, why does it hurt? There’s not supposed to be hurt when you pretend. What’s that all about? Suddenly the colored flowers and clouds have morphed into a dimly lit room, wall to wall carpeting and a laptop now too bright for your eyes. Somehow while you were pretending you exchanged email addresses, pictures of each other, cellphone numbers, and private addresses. You even have other online friends in common who know of your strong bond. It doesn't take much. Only the slightest amount of fear. Reality is like the back of the hand across your face. Truth turns into lies. Trust is lost. Hearts are broken. The only thing left is you.
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